Isle of Man TT

I was channel hopping tonight and on my travels came across the Isle of Man TT on ITV4. I'd heard of it before but didn't really know anything about it, except for the fact that they race motorbikes on public roads at high speeds. Although I like watching motor sports I've never really got into watching bikes. This had me hooked though. Turns out the race I saw was for 600cc machines and there are a number of races across the week for different types/size of bike.

These guys raced through towns and villages, past houses and between stone walls at very high speeds. On parts of the circuit where they reach the highest speeds the helicopter filming the action was left behind. The circuit is 37 and three quarter miles long and the racers complete a lap in under 18 minutes. That's pretty damn quick!

At the end of the first lap it started to rain. Coming into a village called Union Mills one rider had a bit of a slide and following on just behind a Scottish chap called Keith Amor fell. He was lucky. The layout of the road meant he slid to a stop safely, his bike however was moving faster and slid along the floor into the crash barrier outside the Spar shop before spinning back into the road. The conditions meant that the race was stopped.

The TV only showed highlights so I don't know how long they waited, but the race re-started and the riders (including Keith Amor) gave it their all once again. The winner, Gary Johnson, covered the four lap (150 mile) race at an average speed of 123.8mph. That's average speed, through towns and round hairpins on normal roads. In fact all of the top six finishers averaged over 120mph for the race distance. With no run off areas and no room for error, that takes some serious bravery and skill.

Rain Stopped Play

Henry had his first trip to Lord's today to see day three of the England v Sri Lanka test match. An early train was the order of the day as we travelled down with Jake, David and Steven. Following tea, coffee and breakfast inside the ground we found our seats and settled down to watch the action.

Sri Lanka resumed on 231-1 with Dilshan on 127 and Sangakarra on 13. After a decent morning session with the bat, by lunchtime they had moved their score on to 344 for the loss only of Sangakarra who had doubled his overnight tally. Thoughts were of seeing Dilshan reach his double century in the afternoon session.

Seven overs into the afternoon session Steve Finn grabbed a wicket. It was Dilshan who had fallen seven runs short of 200. It was the beginning of the end. Only three more overs were possible before rain stopped play. Tea was taken early but only five balls were bowled before rain curtailed things again.

With the weather looking set in we decided to call it a day and make our way home. It turned out to be the right decision as play was abandoned for the day with no further action.

Relegation

It was expected. It arrived. Although, for a moment there after Demba Ba had given us a two goal lead, I didn't think it would arrive today.

The train journey was entertaining. West Ham taking over the carriage we were on, singing and drinking all the way there. Great banter, but would the team live up to that?

Sadly, no! A 3-2 defeat confirmed the inevitable. The good news - Grant was sacked before we reached Wigan station for the return journey. The bad news - Millwall had a great laugh at our expense with their plane banner stunt.

With hindsight, it was quite amusing. The timing was spot on. In a way they couldn't fail. It was arranged by their House of Fun forum and this is their story:

On 8th May around 6pm, potbelliedgladiator started a thread on the House of Fun forum called “If I was a rich man” and said he’d hire a plane and banner to fly over Wigan. A few hours and a few posts later, around 9pm, another member, Griffiths, suggested the idea of 100 or so clubbing together £5 each. Those active on the thread started to discuss where to get it done from and who was going to donate. Griffiths stuck up the airads.co.uk site, which is who we eventually used.

After some discussions it was decided to try to get it arranged for West Ham’s last game against Sunderland. A thread was started for people to pledge donations too and discussions started over the banners wording. The credit for the wording “Avram Grant – Millwall Legend” almost went to Dubai Hoffer but he put “Avram Grant, Millwall FC Legend” - close but no cigar. SW90 got even closer with “Agent Avram. Millwall Legend.” still not cigar worthy.

The first to get it posted on HoF was elmo at exactly 12:00 midnight, for which he shall forever be known as Cinderella.

On Monday morning a member, who will remain anonymous, pledged £100 with more from a friend, his friend swiftly pledged another £100 and by Monday lunchtime the thread for pledges and the original thread were closed and hidden from view. The event would now be “The Thing” with capital letters.

A company were contacted on Monday evening for a fly past of Upton Park, they would let us know price and if it’s possible due to it being over London.

Monday evening went, as did all of Tuesday…

Airads were contacted on Wednesday and we were told “Fly over Upton Park? That’s not gonna happen due to central London controlled airspace!”

“Okeys, would you be able to do it at Wigan, this weekend, with the short notice and all?”

“Yes, we can, what time you want it for?”

“17:30”

“OK, we’ll get payment sorted.”

Because admin had grown up things, like dealing with work, to sort out, another member, Welling, stepped in to book it for us. Payments were made. Clocks were set ticking. Nerves began to fray.

The Thing has been set in motion, but has to be kept as under wraps as we can. Cue 10,000 posts about The Thing and “What’s The Thing”, fuck me did the last part of the week drag by.

Saturday comes, loads on HoF as every result went how we wanted them to, game on.

Sunday comes, pilot informs us “It’s 50/50 if I can do it coz of shit weather”. Bollocks!

Game kicks off, Vermin have a two goal lead. The time is 16:31, I get this text from one of the coach drivers: “Better hold off on that plane, Wigan are handing it to them”. Fuckbollocks!

Now I’m stuck here, watching the Vermin pull Wigan apart on some mental internet feed. SSN is on the TV, Five Live on the DAB, beers are unopened, the Vermin are getting off the hook, again!

Wigan score: Oi! Oi!, This could be game on.

No word from the pilot yet, is he going for it? Will we look like dicks if he does it and Vermin win? HoF is going ape “Whats happening”? I have no idea!

17:29 or there about, Wigan fucking equalised, FUCKING HELL, the beer instantly gets opened for a toast to the Vermin, go to drink beer, plane appears on computer monitor, Five Live mention something I didn’t hear because of the “Fucking hell, the plane's there!”

HoF goes nuts! My entire household goes nuts (except the kids and Gooner wife – just me then)!

17:34 another text from our friendly coach driver “Fucking going nuts here. The planes going over n over n over. Wigan. Singing Millwall Millwall”

Next bits a blur but a MOV file was uploaded. Wigan take the lead, more shouting and swearing, more madness on the interwebs.

Game ends, time to laugh at the Vermin online. Sky Sports start to mention it on the news, then cut to some fellah at Upton Park talking about the plane stunt, they showed a video of it.

Mrs TEA now takes an interest “They showed it on the telly, I’ll admit now, it is pretty damn funny.” (close enough)

Much rewinding of the VirginMedia box follows with much laughter, the “We took 10,000 up there.” fellah pops up, more VirginMedia rewinding. Go to bed, pissed, about 1am, grinning like a nonce on a merry-go-round.

Monday, wake up, still grinning and off to work. Pull into Clackett Lane to use the facilities. Checked HoF is running OK and see if anything much has happened; fuck me the world went mad, overnight it’s all over the place. Had to believe that it had gone viral and spread all over the world. Struck me later that it’s a bit weird that everyone is mentioning the timing and how did we pull that off? We had a plan and stuck to it, call it whatever, but lady luck smiled at us with her ‘wall shirt on that day.

NOLU, except it seems they all did for a day or so.

‘Wall everywhere would like to thank everyone who donated, those who knew and kept shtoom, the HoF team for organising it, but especially Avram Grant, you sir are a legend.

Wembley Snatched Away Again!

For the second time this season a trip to Wembley was snatched away from West Ham at the final hurdle, this time in the FA Cup quarter final.

I've been looking forward to this one for a while, what with many other committments away games have been few and far between. This was my first for a long, long time and Henry's first ever. Match tickets obtained and train tickets booked we set off from Milton Keynes and arrived in Stoke late morning. From this point onwards our plans fell apart. We had intended to get to the stadium and eat at the Harvester close by before the match, but us and the hundreds of others on the "West Ham express" were herded (in the nicest possible sense) to the nearby Staffordshire University bar which had been set aside for our exclusive use.

Having drained a pint of Guinness (or Coke in Henry's case) we jumped on one of the double decker buses provided by the police to get us to the ground. It turns out that Stoke's supporters are pretty low on the human scale according to the Old Bill. With two motorbikes out front and a van behind we were taken non stop to the Britannia with all other traffic held up for us. We felt like VIPs. We grabbed some food (at the usual expensive captive audience rates) and took our seats amongst the other 4,500 travelling Irons.

As the game got underway we were immediately put under pressure and Green made a top quality save from Etherington after just a couple of minutes. It wasn't all that long before the first goal arrived. Predictably a Rory Delap long throw wasn't cleared and Stoke went ahead, athough the TV showed that it shouldn't have stood. As is ever the case we got behind our team and they did improve, although still managed to make Jermaine Pennant actually look like a footballer.

Half an hour into the game finally we managed an equaliser. A great ball through from Hitzlsperger found Piquionne, who controlled with his arm before lobbing the keeper and bundling the ball in. Fabulously the ref gave the goal and we taunted the Stokies with "We only score from handballs!" before shouting "handball" every time one of our players touched the ball. The goal brought us a bit more into the match and at half time it was still all square.

The second half started dramatically. After just 15 seconds the ex-West Ham winger Etherington ran into the box and took a dive. Ironic really as the Stoke CEO had written in the programme that their players have been intructed by the manager NOT to do such a thing. Presumably Etherington will be fined heavily for disobeying orders. Anyway, the ref predictably bought it and Etherington himself took the spot kick. Green, however, leapt to his left to save magnificently and keep the scores level. If there is a better 'keeping plying his trade in England I have yet to see him.

Not yet finished, later in the half the referee awarded Stoke a free kick about 30 yards out. It was driven straight at the wall, and despite (as TV evidence showed) Carlton Cole pulling his arm away as the ball approached he wasn't quite quick enough and it caught his elbow. Ninety-nine times out of a hundred play would continue but not with this ref. Oh no, he awards another free kick for handball. This time, right on the edge of the box a shot is again driven in. Unspotted by referee or his assistants Thomas Hitzlsperger is grabbed around the waist and dragged out of the wall and to the floor. The ball flies through the gap created and Green can't stop it, although he almost does. 2-1 Stoke.

This prompts West Ham into action and they dominate the remainder of the game, hitting the bar and having a penalty claim denied. A claim that TV analysis can see no reason for being not given. Ultimately though the efforts are futile as the final whislt blows with no further score. The game has been decided by a referee who allowed three goals that should all have been disallowed, given one penalty that shouldn't have been and not given another that should.

An hours wait after the final whislte and our buses are given the same police escort back to the station, with the warning about the Stoke fans in the first pub we will pass probably attempting to stone the buses. According to the officer sat next to me, Stoke fans are, and I quote, "scum bags". Laughably the match ticket claims that they are officially the loudest fans in England. Today they weren't even the loudest fans in the Britannia as they were easily outsung by the Hammers faithful, despite a numbers advantage of 4:1. In fact we heard them on only four occasions - each of the two goals, a quick song after the second goal and at the final whislte. Mind you, if I had to watch a second rate team in a second rate stadium playing second rate football then I'd probably be a second rate fan too!

All in all, apart from the result (which in fairness should have been a draw), we had a great day out. I'm already looking forward to the next one - Wigan in May if I can get a couple of tickets. Come on you Irons!