Relegation

It was expected. It arrived. Although, for a moment there after Demba Ba had given us a two goal lead, I didn't think it would arrive today.

The train journey was entertaining. West Ham taking over the carriage we were on, singing and drinking all the way there. Great banter, but would the team live up to that?

Sadly, no! A 3-2 defeat confirmed the inevitable. The good news - Grant was sacked before we reached Wigan station for the return journey. The bad news - Millwall had a great laugh at our expense with their plane banner stunt.

With hindsight, it was quite amusing. The timing was spot on. In a way they couldn't fail. It was arranged by their House of Fun forum and this is their story:

On 8th May around 6pm, potbelliedgladiator started a thread on the House of Fun forum called “If I was a rich man” and said he’d hire a plane and banner to fly over Wigan. A few hours and a few posts later, around 9pm, another member, Griffiths, suggested the idea of 100 or so clubbing together £5 each. Those active on the thread started to discuss where to get it done from and who was going to donate. Griffiths stuck up the airads.co.uk site, which is who we eventually used.

After some discussions it was decided to try to get it arranged for West Ham’s last game against Sunderland. A thread was started for people to pledge donations too and discussions started over the banners wording. The credit for the wording “Avram Grant – Millwall Legend” almost went to Dubai Hoffer but he put “Avram Grant, Millwall FC Legend” - close but no cigar. SW90 got even closer with “Agent Avram. Millwall Legend.” still not cigar worthy.

The first to get it posted on HoF was elmo at exactly 12:00 midnight, for which he shall forever be known as Cinderella.

On Monday morning a member, who will remain anonymous, pledged £100 with more from a friend, his friend swiftly pledged another £100 and by Monday lunchtime the thread for pledges and the original thread were closed and hidden from view. The event would now be “The Thing” with capital letters.

A company were contacted on Monday evening for a fly past of Upton Park, they would let us know price and if it’s possible due to it being over London.

Monday evening went, as did all of Tuesday…

Airads were contacted on Wednesday and we were told “Fly over Upton Park? That’s not gonna happen due to central London controlled airspace!”

“Okeys, would you be able to do it at Wigan, this weekend, with the short notice and all?”

“Yes, we can, what time you want it for?”

“17:30”

“OK, we’ll get payment sorted.”

Because admin had grown up things, like dealing with work, to sort out, another member, Welling, stepped in to book it for us. Payments were made. Clocks were set ticking. Nerves began to fray.

The Thing has been set in motion, but has to be kept as under wraps as we can. Cue 10,000 posts about The Thing and “What’s The Thing”, fuck me did the last part of the week drag by.

Saturday comes, loads on HoF as every result went how we wanted them to, game on.

Sunday comes, pilot informs us “It’s 50/50 if I can do it coz of shit weather”. Bollocks!

Game kicks off, Vermin have a two goal lead. The time is 16:31, I get this text from one of the coach drivers: “Better hold off on that plane, Wigan are handing it to them”. Fuckbollocks!

Now I’m stuck here, watching the Vermin pull Wigan apart on some mental internet feed. SSN is on the TV, Five Live on the DAB, beers are unopened, the Vermin are getting off the hook, again!

Wigan score: Oi! Oi!, This could be game on.

No word from the pilot yet, is he going for it? Will we look like dicks if he does it and Vermin win? HoF is going ape “Whats happening”? I have no idea!

17:29 or there about, Wigan fucking equalised, FUCKING HELL, the beer instantly gets opened for a toast to the Vermin, go to drink beer, plane appears on computer monitor, Five Live mention something I didn’t hear because of the “Fucking hell, the plane's there!”

HoF goes nuts! My entire household goes nuts (except the kids and Gooner wife – just me then)!

17:34 another text from our friendly coach driver “Fucking going nuts here. The planes going over n over n over. Wigan. Singing Millwall Millwall”

Next bits a blur but a MOV file was uploaded. Wigan take the lead, more shouting and swearing, more madness on the interwebs.

Game ends, time to laugh at the Vermin online. Sky Sports start to mention it on the news, then cut to some fellah at Upton Park talking about the plane stunt, they showed a video of it.

Mrs TEA now takes an interest “They showed it on the telly, I’ll admit now, it is pretty damn funny.” (close enough)

Much rewinding of the VirginMedia box follows with much laughter, the “We took 10,000 up there.” fellah pops up, more VirginMedia rewinding. Go to bed, pissed, about 1am, grinning like a nonce on a merry-go-round.

Monday, wake up, still grinning and off to work. Pull into Clackett Lane to use the facilities. Checked HoF is running OK and see if anything much has happened; fuck me the world went mad, overnight it’s all over the place. Had to believe that it had gone viral and spread all over the world. Struck me later that it’s a bit weird that everyone is mentioning the timing and how did we pull that off? We had a plan and stuck to it, call it whatever, but lady luck smiled at us with her ‘wall shirt on that day.

NOLU, except it seems they all did for a day or so.

‘Wall everywhere would like to thank everyone who donated, those who knew and kept shtoom, the HoF team for organising it, but especially Avram Grant, you sir are a legend.