Relegation

It was expected. It arrived. Although, for a moment there after Demba Ba had given us a two goal lead, I didn't think it would arrive today.

The train journey was entertaining. West Ham taking over the carriage we were on, singing and drinking all the way there. Great banter, but would the team live up to that?

Sadly, no! A 3-2 defeat confirmed the inevitable. The good news - Grant was sacked before we reached Wigan station for the return journey. The bad news - Millwall had a great laugh at our expense with their plane banner stunt.

With hindsight, it was quite amusing. The timing was spot on. In a way they couldn't fail. It was arranged by their House of Fun forum and this is their story:

On 8th May around 6pm, potbelliedgladiator started a thread on the House of Fun forum called “If I was a rich man” and said he’d hire a plane and banner to fly over Wigan. A few hours and a few posts later, around 9pm, another member, Griffiths, suggested the idea of 100 or so clubbing together £5 each. Those active on the thread started to discuss where to get it done from and who was going to donate. Griffiths stuck up the airads.co.uk site, which is who we eventually used.

After some discussions it was decided to try to get it arranged for West Ham’s last game against Sunderland. A thread was started for people to pledge donations too and discussions started over the banners wording. The credit for the wording “Avram Grant – Millwall Legend” almost went to Dubai Hoffer but he put “Avram Grant, Millwall FC Legend” - close but no cigar. SW90 got even closer with “Agent Avram. Millwall Legend.” still not cigar worthy.

The first to get it posted on HoF was elmo at exactly 12:00 midnight, for which he shall forever be known as Cinderella.

On Monday morning a member, who will remain anonymous, pledged £100 with more from a friend, his friend swiftly pledged another £100 and by Monday lunchtime the thread for pledges and the original thread were closed and hidden from view. The event would now be “The Thing” with capital letters.

A company were contacted on Monday evening for a fly past of Upton Park, they would let us know price and if it’s possible due to it being over London.

Monday evening went, as did all of Tuesday…

Airads were contacted on Wednesday and we were told “Fly over Upton Park? That’s not gonna happen due to central London controlled airspace!”

“Okeys, would you be able to do it at Wigan, this weekend, with the short notice and all?”

“Yes, we can, what time you want it for?”

“17:30”

“OK, we’ll get payment sorted.”

Because admin had grown up things, like dealing with work, to sort out, another member, Welling, stepped in to book it for us. Payments were made. Clocks were set ticking. Nerves began to fray.

The Thing has been set in motion, but has to be kept as under wraps as we can. Cue 10,000 posts about The Thing and “What’s The Thing”, fuck me did the last part of the week drag by.

Saturday comes, loads on HoF as every result went how we wanted them to, game on.

Sunday comes, pilot informs us “It’s 50/50 if I can do it coz of shit weather”. Bollocks!

Game kicks off, Vermin have a two goal lead. The time is 16:31, I get this text from one of the coach drivers: “Better hold off on that plane, Wigan are handing it to them”. Fuckbollocks!

Now I’m stuck here, watching the Vermin pull Wigan apart on some mental internet feed. SSN is on the TV, Five Live on the DAB, beers are unopened, the Vermin are getting off the hook, again!

Wigan score: Oi! Oi!, This could be game on.

No word from the pilot yet, is he going for it? Will we look like dicks if he does it and Vermin win? HoF is going ape “Whats happening”? I have no idea!

17:29 or there about, Wigan fucking equalised, FUCKING HELL, the beer instantly gets opened for a toast to the Vermin, go to drink beer, plane appears on computer monitor, Five Live mention something I didn’t hear because of the “Fucking hell, the plane's there!”

HoF goes nuts! My entire household goes nuts (except the kids and Gooner wife – just me then)!

17:34 another text from our friendly coach driver “Fucking going nuts here. The planes going over n over n over. Wigan. Singing Millwall Millwall”

Next bits a blur but a MOV file was uploaded. Wigan take the lead, more shouting and swearing, more madness on the interwebs.

Game ends, time to laugh at the Vermin online. Sky Sports start to mention it on the news, then cut to some fellah at Upton Park talking about the plane stunt, they showed a video of it.

Mrs TEA now takes an interest “They showed it on the telly, I’ll admit now, it is pretty damn funny.” (close enough)

Much rewinding of the VirginMedia box follows with much laughter, the “We took 10,000 up there.” fellah pops up, more VirginMedia rewinding. Go to bed, pissed, about 1am, grinning like a nonce on a merry-go-round.

Monday, wake up, still grinning and off to work. Pull into Clackett Lane to use the facilities. Checked HoF is running OK and see if anything much has happened; fuck me the world went mad, overnight it’s all over the place. Had to believe that it had gone viral and spread all over the world. Struck me later that it’s a bit weird that everyone is mentioning the timing and how did we pull that off? We had a plan and stuck to it, call it whatever, but lady luck smiled at us with her ‘wall shirt on that day.

NOLU, except it seems they all did for a day or so.

‘Wall everywhere would like to thank everyone who donated, those who knew and kept shtoom, the HoF team for organising it, but especially Avram Grant, you sir are a legend.

Wembley Snatched Away Again!

For the second time this season a trip to Wembley was snatched away from West Ham at the final hurdle, this time in the FA Cup quarter final.

I've been looking forward to this one for a while, what with many other committments away games have been few and far between. This was my first for a long, long time and Henry's first ever. Match tickets obtained and train tickets booked we set off from Milton Keynes and arrived in Stoke late morning. From this point onwards our plans fell apart. We had intended to get to the stadium and eat at the Harvester close by before the match, but us and the hundreds of others on the "West Ham express" were herded (in the nicest possible sense) to the nearby Staffordshire University bar which had been set aside for our exclusive use.

Having drained a pint of Guinness (or Coke in Henry's case) we jumped on one of the double decker buses provided by the police to get us to the ground. It turns out that Stoke's supporters are pretty low on the human scale according to the Old Bill. With two motorbikes out front and a van behind we were taken non stop to the Britannia with all other traffic held up for us. We felt like VIPs. We grabbed some food (at the usual expensive captive audience rates) and took our seats amongst the other 4,500 travelling Irons.

As the game got underway we were immediately put under pressure and Green made a top quality save from Etherington after just a couple of minutes. It wasn't all that long before the first goal arrived. Predictably a Rory Delap long throw wasn't cleared and Stoke went ahead, athough the TV showed that it shouldn't have stood. As is ever the case we got behind our team and they did improve, although still managed to make Jermaine Pennant actually look like a footballer.

Half an hour into the game finally we managed an equaliser. A great ball through from Hitzlsperger found Piquionne, who controlled with his arm before lobbing the keeper and bundling the ball in. Fabulously the ref gave the goal and we taunted the Stokies with "We only score from handballs!" before shouting "handball" every time one of our players touched the ball. The goal brought us a bit more into the match and at half time it was still all square.

The second half started dramatically. After just 15 seconds the ex-West Ham winger Etherington ran into the box and took a dive. Ironic really as the Stoke CEO had written in the programme that their players have been intructed by the manager NOT to do such a thing. Presumably Etherington will be fined heavily for disobeying orders. Anyway, the ref predictably bought it and Etherington himself took the spot kick. Green, however, leapt to his left to save magnificently and keep the scores level. If there is a better 'keeping plying his trade in England I have yet to see him.

Not yet finished, later in the half the referee awarded Stoke a free kick about 30 yards out. It was driven straight at the wall, and despite (as TV evidence showed) Carlton Cole pulling his arm away as the ball approached he wasn't quite quick enough and it caught his elbow. Ninety-nine times out of a hundred play would continue but not with this ref. Oh no, he awards another free kick for handball. This time, right on the edge of the box a shot is again driven in. Unspotted by referee or his assistants Thomas Hitzlsperger is grabbed around the waist and dragged out of the wall and to the floor. The ball flies through the gap created and Green can't stop it, although he almost does. 2-1 Stoke.

This prompts West Ham into action and they dominate the remainder of the game, hitting the bar and having a penalty claim denied. A claim that TV analysis can see no reason for being not given. Ultimately though the efforts are futile as the final whislt blows with no further score. The game has been decided by a referee who allowed three goals that should all have been disallowed, given one penalty that shouldn't have been and not given another that should.

An hours wait after the final whislte and our buses are given the same police escort back to the station, with the warning about the Stoke fans in the first pub we will pass probably attempting to stone the buses. According to the officer sat next to me, Stoke fans are, and I quote, "scum bags". Laughably the match ticket claims that they are officially the loudest fans in England. Today they weren't even the loudest fans in the Britannia as they were easily outsung by the Hammers faithful, despite a numbers advantage of 4:1. In fact we heard them on only four occasions - each of the two goals, a quick song after the second goal and at the final whislte. Mind you, if I had to watch a second rate team in a second rate stadium playing second rate football then I'd probably be a second rate fan too!

All in all, apart from the result (which in fairness should have been a draw), we had a great day out. I'm already looking forward to the next one - Wigan in May if I can get a couple of tickets. Come on you Irons!

Hammers for England

As everyone knows England only win the World Cup with three West Ham players in the team. Our dream of ending 44 years since winning it took a turn for the better today when Robert Green, Matthew Upson and Scott Parker were all named in the 30 man squad.

Congratulations to them all, especially Parker whose performances this season have warranted it. His call up is long overdue. Lets hope they all make the final 23 when the last 7 are culled.

Zola Sacked

So West Ham have finally done what was on the cards since the takeover and sacked Gianfranco Zola. I for one am not very happy about it.

Yes Zola was inexperienced and yes he sometimes shows tactical deficiencies, but from day 1 you could see what he was trying to do. Every player on the pitch needed to be comfortable receiving the ball wherever he was and most have become so. Even when we were losing there were often good signs.

No-one will ever know if given another season it would be more like last season or the one just finished, but I think Zola will be one who got away. I can see him becoming a very good manager and even leading Italy to the World Cup Finals someday. On top of that he is a true gentleman, unfortunately for him at least one of his employers isn't and he paid the price.

I hope he has success in his career (unless of course he ends up at Chelsea, Spurs or Arsenal) and I hope that West Ham can pick a suitable replacement. Sadly most of the names mentioned so far would be a backward step from where we were this morning. Lets hope the new incumbent quickly wins the support of the players that Zola clearly had.

It's Been A Long Time

It's been a very long time since I posted anything to my blog and plently has happened in the meantime. My computer has died, West Ham have continued to struggle, the entire indoor archery season has come and gone and I even got my camera out a few times.

The good weather this weekend though seemed to bring good fortune with it, it was a good weekend.

Saturday was the next installment in the West Ham's relegation scrap. Having been dismal in the three home games previously I was hoping for something better. The draw at Everton gave us hope and in the end three welcome and deserved points came our way against a niggly Sunderland team. The referee was poor (for both teams), in fact as poor as I can remember a ref being for quite some time, and Sunderland were very sly with lots of tugs of shirts and arms putting players off balance, and getting away with it. A win against Wigan in our next home match should, I hope, be enough to ensure survival.

Sunday morning I went to our archery club for my first outdoor shoot of the season, a Western. It took a bit longer than I had thought it might to shoot 8 dozen arrows. The first four dozen at 60 yards and the remainder at 50 yards. My gear can just about cope with this distance although others were shooting up to 100 yards. The sun was out but there was a chilly breeze. Without really having anything to compare it with I had no great feeling of achievement nor of disappointment at my final score of 577, but I'm told it is a good score for someone in their first year.

Straight afterwards I had to whizz off to Newport Pagnell, via home, to photograph the MK Dons ladies team in their final match of the season against Norwich City. I managed to get there just after kick off, about 10 minutes late. I found myself a spot behind the goal at the edge of the penalty area. Conditions were not ideal as the sunlight and the Dons white shirts can cause metering problems. I decided to shoot with the camera on manual to try and get around that. The Dons took the lead around midway through the first half, and although I did get a shot of the player shooting, it wasn't great and the ball wasn't in shot. Norwich equalised a few minutes later, but at the other end of the pitch, so no shots of that!

The second half saw three more goals, but all for Norwich who won comfortably in the end. A shame for me that I didn't get the chance for more goal shots at my end. My Canon 70-200mm f2.8 really isn't quite long enough for football, even with the 1.4x extender, but I just can't afford the 300mm or 400mm f2.8 prime lenses that you really need for those sports with a bigger pitch. Nevertheless, if you can anticipate the action you can still get some decent shots with this kit. You can also get away with a fair bit of cropping when they are viewed on the web too, making them look better than they really are. I am looking forward to getting my new computer next week though, as my old one died in early November and it's almost impossible to do anything worthwhile with photos on my netbook. Photoshop will be a welcome sight after months making do with the GIMP. A few of the best shots from the match are shown here. I hope to get the chance to shoot more photos for them next season.

So a good weekend all round, apart from the sunburnt head that I got for my troubles on Sunday. When the sun is out and there is a cool wind you just don't notice it's strength.

OK, Now I'm Worried

Yesterday afternoon at Upton Park started well and then went downhill....fast. The first two home matches both ended in defeat (to Tottenham and Liverpool) but the performances were good and I felt we deserved at least a point against both.

Yesterday Fulham were the visitors. A side, like us, in the bottom 3 and on paper one that we ought to have beaten comfortably. We looked bright enough at the start, although I felt Hines didn't give the same level of performance that he had done against Liverpool. We did take the lead after 16 minutes after a Diamanti free kick from the right was header powerfully into the top corner at the near post by Carlton Cole.

While Andrew Johnson did show brief flashes of perhaps being able to get Fulham back into the game they offered little else. Then with 5 minutes to go before half time an off the ball incident resulted in a red card for Fulham's debutante midfielder Dikgacoi. Half time came and we looked at the table and tried to work out how high we'd move up with the win that was inevitable now.

As the players re-emerged for the second half Fulham replaced Johnson and it seemed any hope for them getting anything from the match was gone. Hmmmmmmm. Within a minute of the re-start Fulham got a penalty and were level. To me the challenge was a 50:50. Upson and Kamara tussled for the ball and both went down. Neither was at fault, but these things usually go in favour of the defender and when the ref whilstled I assumed that was what was happening. When he pointed to the spot I was gobsmacked. Seeing it on TV later I still can't see how it was a penalty.

OK, so back at parity but we still have the extra man against a side we were better than in a first half when they had 11. It'd be alright. No it bloody wouldn't! 10 minutes later Green came for a corner and didn't get there leaving Gera a fairly simple tap in. Disaster.

We then looked a bit devoid of ideas and urgency. There was little creativity and the spectre of relegation (yes, even in October) was very real, and hovvering over us. This just wasn't good enough. The players we have are capable of so much more, but they must start showing it. And soon.

In injury time we got lucky. Finally when we got a shot away we got something. Stanislas's drive was deflected past the helpless Schwarzer saving us a point with a 2-2 draw that we really didn't deserve. Even so, 1 point from 9 at home is nowhere near good enough and leaves us in the relegation zone (albeit with a big pack within a win from us).

The fixtures coming up look daunting. The next 6 visitors to Upton Park are Arsenal, Aston Villa, Everton, Burnley, Man Utd then Chelsea. It wouldn't be a surprise of we only picked up another 4 or 5 points from that lot. We are gonna need one hell of a run in at home to repair the damage that could get done in the next couple of months.

The one thing might be that we do tend to raise our game against the bigger teams when they come calling. We need to!

West Ham 'Aggro

I suppose my opening statement should be that I don't condone the events at Upton Park last night. It's sad that I have to point that out, but I feel much of this post will go against what is appearing in much of the media and could therefore be taken a support of those involved. Make no mistake, it isn't.

I should say that I am a West Ham season ticket holder, so my views may well be a little biased, but I will try to put that aside. This is my 12th season as a season ticket holder and while I don't know the exact figure, I have attended around 300 matches. I am not therefore a casual observer, or occasional supporter. I know what it's all about and have been to matches between West Ham and Millwall on a number of occasions, even back to the old Den.

Geographically the two nearest clubs to Upton Park are Tottenham and Millwall. By pure chance the first two home matches of this season have been Tottenham and Millwall. What that does mean is a comparison can be made. On Sunday we hosted Spurs, and whilst we really don't like them, and they are the team to beat each season what happened last night just wouldn't arise against them.

Why not? Well for a start the Spurs fans are generally amongst the quieter and more reserved to visit. They are more akin to a theatre audience than a football crowd so the confrontational element just isn't there. It's like having an argument with someone who doesn't argue back, it can't escalate.

On the other hand you have Millwall. A club who's only chant is "no-one likes us...". I wonder why. Their fans always try to be confrontational. Now Millwall are a small club, there is no getting away from that. In their history they have spent 2 seasons in the top flight and reached 1 cup final. There are even smaller clubs, sure, but Millwall are pretty insignificant to many people. The only way they could ever be regarded as a 'big' team was in the hooligan stakes in the 70s and 80s. As this is their only 'claim to fame' they try to live up to it.

It strikes me that recent lapses in behaviour at football have tended to involve Millwall (think Birmingham and Hull for two such), when playing other teams which had a well established 'firm' or hooligan element in the past. West Ham 'fans' were far from innocent in those dark days, with their own ICF being feared countrywide. Add this to a local rivalry and you can imagine the tinderbox waiting to be lit last night.

All matches that I have been to involving West Ham and Millwall have been league encounters. The kick offs have always been moved to a time before pubs open. Alcohol certainly has it's part to play. An evening kick off was bound to add complications to the security, but (excluding the final) this competition is played exclusively in the evening and the crammed fixture lists just do not allow for this game being switched to a weekend morning.

I can't (or won't) pass an opinion on what happened outside the ground as I saw nothing untoward there. That's not being blinkered, just not wanting to rely on hearsay as many are doing this morning.

Inside the Millwall fans were in the lower tier of the Sir Trevor Brooking Stand. Sensibly West Ham left the upper tier empty. Perhaps with hindsight more of the West Stand lower tier should have been left empty too to give more of an exclusion zone. Not so sensible was that fact that tickets were on sale until 5pm yesterday. I know it's not quite the same as paying on the gate, but it's a bit too close to kick off in my opinion.

Millwall fans were vociferous. West Ham fans were vociferous. Chants were exchanged. The atmosphere was building, but there was an underlying feeling of hatred that just doesn't exist for any other match. Nothing new though.

The first sign of any trouble was Millwall fans throwing bottles onto the pitch, and fighting with stewards and police at the front. Millwall scored, and their fans were goading their West Ham counterparts. The underlying hatred was increasing. Now a scuffle started at the front of the West Ham section in the West Stand lower. It seemed that the verbal duelling now wasn't enough and the crowd wanted to get at each other physically.

While this is all unsavoury, and we do not want to see it, it does happen occasionally and it was dealt with fairly well by those in authority. The two sets of fans never came together inside the stadium. Millwall's lead in the match enabled their supporters to continue their incitement. When West Ham finally equalised with 3 minutes to play relief outpoured.

I believe the stewards were taken a bit by surprise, as those who now came onto the pitch did so from all sides. This was not, in my opinion, an attempt to storm the Millwall section and riot. It was a combination of celebration, relief, and a will to get back at the Lions fans for their taunting. I'm not defending it, and those who did it will know they face life bans. It's the way things are, and they can have no excuse when they are identified and punished.

As a West Ham fan though it was embarrassing that our supporters were causing the problem. It lowered us to their level, and I'm sure the club will face some penalty for it.

As the players prepared on the pitch for extra time we got news of the stabbing outside, as police vans screamed up and down Priory Road. Our seats, in the centre of the upper tier of the West Stand were probably the safest place to be in the entire area, but the fact that we would have to go past the end of Priory Road to get home, and that Millwall's fans would have to come down that same street caused some worry for after the match. Not so much for me, but for the two kids I was responsible for.

Soon into extra time West Ham got a penalty, which we scored, and this sadly led to another pitch invasion. More this time spilled onto the playing surface. Again it was an embarrassment, and most fans in their seats were chanting 'off, off, off' to those encroaching.

The game was delayed for a couple of minutes while the pitch was cleared, and when it got underway again West Ham scored a third quickly afterwards. Celebrations this time were much more controlled. The opposition fans were deflated and the game was won.

We left the stadium 5 minutes from the end to ensure we could pass Priory Road before the Millwall fans. Although there were many more police around now than earlier, again we saw no violence.

What went on was indefensible, and the individuals concerned will, I'm sure, be identified and punished. I sincerely hope that the rest of us are not. 'Fans' of both clubs are to blame. Millwall incited and West Ham reacted. I haven't seen or heard any mention of the racist abuse given by Millwall fans to Carlton Cole though. Good for him to give them the w**ker sign, but I bet he gets fined for it.

The kids (aged 7 and 13) that I took to the game will remember it forever. It has not, though, stopped them wanting to attend in the future. In fact the difference to the sanitised atmosphere for many Premier League matches was (unnecessary elements excluded) a welcome change. And I do not believe, as many on BBC radio were saying last night, that I am naive for taking kids to this fixture.

Yes, there is more chance of trouble at a game between these two teams than many. But on the whole you have to want to be involved to actually be involved. If you want to avoid trouble you usually can. Football in general, and West Ham in particular, are safe to go to. Safe to take kids to. And I for one will ignore the media hype and comments from those who have never been to a football match with their sweeping generalisations and continue to take my two boys.

For the record West Ham won the football match 3-1 after extra time. The action can be seen here.

Come on you Irons!